Sunday, October 17, 2010

Meaningful

Hello to the 4 or 5 of you that read my blog! Thanks a bunch for taking some time out of your day to listen to little old me talk about random things like slip-n-slides and other things! It is cool that you read/ look at my blog!

Meaning.....
This is something that I am struggling with right now... what am I doing with my life right now that gives it some kind of meaning? This question is burrowed in the back of my mind and it will not leave, so I decided to just spit up some of my thoughts on this plague that has taken over my mind. So here we go, buckle up gang.

I have recently been stuck in the mind set that almost everything in my life is monotinous....except for wednesdays and sundays when I feel like I actually do something with my life. I hate having to sit in classes all day and not learn anything constructive, then go home and sit, do homework, eat, and then got sleep.... School is hard, boring, and takes up my life. I sit in classes wondering how my life would turn out if I just left school and just traveled across the country. But then reality strikes as I am called on or finally come out of the day dream. People in their junior year of high school have things figured out for their lives, (or so it seems) they check their "class rank"(I despise this more than anything else...You are now just a number to colleges now) daily, so they can go to the perfect college and live a perfect life with the perfect job and perfect kids. I still don't know how I am going to make it through high school let alone college! It is all just so confusing and pointless because we could all die tomorrow (not likely though) and would you be happy with those straight A's? or would you be happy with all of the people you knew and got to build relationships with? If I were to die tomorrow i would not be content with my mediocre life of the same thing day after day.....( What is a guy to do? ) I have gotten to the point where i would rather travel across America on a bike than be stuck in this rut of monotony for one more day.....I don't see the benefit of trying your whole life to make everything perfect and hate life than to just know that you are doing something worth living for... In a book I am reading it talks about " Living good stories" with our lives... And I can say I am living a terribly boring story that I am not proud of.....Anyways that is what I am feeling tonight as I cannot sleep.....


Much Love,
Tim

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